No Glamorous Wedding

Elul 11

Sept. 10

Dear Diary;
I suppose it is shameful, but I shed some tears tonight

 because we will not be having a glamorous wedding. Such a wedding would be inappropriate in my condition. I have dreamed for years of what my challah would look like. I was hoping for a tall graceful canopy of fine white linen such as my parent’s friends from Bethashbea, make and sell. Perhaps they would have even given us a good cut in price.

I was dreaming of having the most fragrant pink roses that we could find, tucked in here and there on the canopy.
I’m sure Rizpah, who is another dear friend of my mother’s, would have gladly given us some for the occasion. She grows the loveliest damask roses of anyone I know. Ever since I first noticed Yosef as a wee talitha of seven spring times, I have often daydream of him, and me standing beneath it! Imma has some vines growing up the side of our white brick house. I was hoping to plant some into pots ahead of time, and have them bordering the archway on either side of the canopy and interlaced throughout the roses. Would that not have been ever so lovely?
My dearest friends and I have often chattered about how delightful it would be to help each other prepare for our mitzvahs.
I can almost feel the nervous excitement I would have felt as they helped me into my wedding garments. They would have taken turns brushing out my hip length hair, and busied themselves preparing all the rest. I love to imagine the look of awe on Yosef’s face, when he sees my hair uncovered for the first time!
It is fortunate that you cannot see my woebegone expression. I must, I will refrain from repining over the loss of a beautiful wedding when I have the more glorious honor of nurturing the son of Adonai. To think I am the only woman in the whole wide world to have this responsibility, this honor!
P.S. What a joy it is to be accepted into Yosef’s favour once again. I could collapse with relief.