The First Christmas Is Drawing Nigh

24^th  Chisleu

December 9^th

Dear Diary,

This has been a very, very hard day. I am almost too weary to write, but I must because such memorable things are happening. My body is being wracked with pain. I’ve clung to the poor donkey’s neck and I let my veil conceal my face so Yosef would not see how difficult it has been for me. Not that I fooled him for one moment. He is so anxious, he keeps asking whether or not we should press on to reach Beth Lechem’s khan, (inn), by nightfall or if he should let me rest more often.

As it is, many have tramped on ahead. We are left behind with the roving wild animals, the geshem,, and perhaps even bandits for company. But I do not need to think of that. My emotions are fragile for many reasons, somehow, I still know that Adonai,  hallowed be His Name,  will care for us and His own beloved Son.

24 Chisleu

December 9^th

continued

This page will surely be unreadable because I can’t keep the tears from falling. We finally reached Beth Lechem by nightfall but there was no room at the khan, no room at all! All the rooms above the shelter for the animals were overcrowded with wealthy wayfarers, much wealthier than us. In the courtyard below, the animals had scarcely enough room to shuffle around.

The innkeeper seemed apologetic, but helpless. Yosef pleaded for him to suggest someplace—anywhere for us to stay, but the poor, overwrought innkeeper shook his head sorrowfully.

“I am sorry. So sorry,” the innkeeper said, stroking his long, wavy beard agitatedly. He lifted his hand to point at the people crowding around.

“See this multitude? They too are in the same predicament that you are in.”

“But is there not somewhere, anywhere that we can go?”

In Yosef’’s desperation, he reached out to clutch the steward’s striped garment.

“Look, it is not for me that I am concerned,” Yosef continued, “t is for my wife! She is young, slight of build, yet great with child. I fear that all this traveling may bring travail upon her earlier than it ought. We need to find a shelter where she can rest.”

The paunchy innkeeper’s brow furrowed as he gazed around, as if looking for direction. Someone plucked at his sleeve, demanding attention, with a scowl he nudged him aside.

“On yonder ridge is the town, but you will fare no better there.  Nary a house is not overfilled with guests at this time. Many have long awaited the  census already,  and I fear no one is willing or able to take in more travellers.”

“But is there no where for us to go? We are of the lineage of David!”

‘”The lineage of David? Aye, that should help, should help. Know you not of any relative you could stay with?”
            Yosef wrung his hands. “I know of none. We should have inquired earlier..

The innkeeper stepped back and fumbled with his sash. “This small town is not able to contain all those of David’s line.” He finally admitted, sighing heavily.

“Yonder ridge has its share of caves. Many of them will be used as stables in this present predicament, but if you can find a little rest in one of them, you are welcome to it. I will send a servant after you with fresh straw.

“If you require a midwife before the night is over, I may find a moment to check into it, but it will be nigh impossible to secure one at this time. More than one woman is in the same dire condition as your sweet wife.”

In gratitude, Yosef took his hand, clasped it, then reached for the lead strap on the donkey so we could clamber awkwardly down among the rocks in search of a grotto turned into a stable. I lowered the veil back over my face, lest Yosef would see the despair written there.

We did find a cave, however, without too much searching.

When Yosef was able to get the clay lamp lit, it seemed more cozy and inviting. It was rather crowded, unfortunately. Yosef is trying to

persuade some of our fellow cave dwellers to take their lowing, smelly, burden bearers and hustle off to give us a measure of peace.

I am so weary that all I want to do is remove my wet garments, find something dry to wear, and try to rest.  Yosef was rather anxiously fluffing up the fresh straw, which was delivered by a young lad with a hand cart, he is now shaking out our blanket.

I laid  the baby’s swaddling strips near the fire to dry. Fortunately, we had kept one blanket packed well so it wouldn’t get wet on the trip. It was somewhat damp in a couple places but it was better than nothing. We sat beside a central fire until I was warmed up, which seemed to take

forever, then we crawled under our one rather thin blanket together.

In the stall next to ours are two donkeys, tied up, their owners are lounging against a nearby wall. At the far end of the cave, there is some activity going on. I think a shepherd is about to aid a ewe giving birth. Will there be two male ‘lambs’ born before the night is o’er?

24^th Chisleu

December 9^th

Dear Diary,

I feel that my time is drawing nigh, I am anxious. It is frightening to think of having my baby without my mother, or a midwife nearby. I am worried about the baby. What will happen if He comes before we can move on to a better dwelling? This cave is not clean enough!

Two of the wayfarers, a middle-aged couple, were cooperative and helped us out. Some of the others growled that they were here first and were not at all inclined to be agreeable under such chilly weather conditions.

I fear they have been indulging too long in the wine that is red.

Oh, surely, surely Adonai, hallowed be His Name, will be with me during this difficult time. My every breath is a prayer that  Adonai will

protect His own Beloved Son and me.

By the dejected slope of Yosef’’s shoulders, I can sense that he feels that he has somehow failed me and us. I must stop writing now and tell him how warm and inviting it all looks by the light of the lamp. Surely these stabbing pains will ease now that I have a place to rest. It seems too soon for the little one to make His appearance.

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The First Christmas Story (continued)

20th Chisleu

December 16th

20th Chisleu

December 16th

Traveling has not been so bad after all. I didn’t realize how beautiful much

of this country is. The olive gardens and fields are such a bright green

at this time of year. I can always anticipate a splendid view over the

next hill, which makes all the climbing worth it. We have traveled one

day’s journey, we stopped a little while ago. I think the monotonous

plodding of the donkey relaxes me. I suppose if I was not used to riding

donkey, I would be more stiff and sore, but that is our main means of travel..

All around us little campfires are brightening up the evening scene.

Yosef also has a cheery fire going. He is so caring. He will hardly let me

do anything, which is why I am writing in my journal while he bustles

around, much to the hilarity of fellow travelers. He seems to think he needs to protect me as though I am a delicate flower.

He has the wonderful pottage, that Imma sent along, simmering over the fire, and soon I will be munching on some of her good homemade bread. For special times, she makes  it the way that Ezekiel  recommended, and I love it so much. It has millet and lentils and spelt in it, besides barley and wheat. It makes me homesick for her, and our memories of forming loaves together.  

Abba was sadly unapproachable, he turned stiffly away when I wanted

to give him a goodbye hug. Oh, if only he would believe that something

so pure and holy has actually happened to his little tinoki.The angels

visit so long ago was wonderful. I wish I could renew that feeling of

blessedness more often. It would give me more courage.

P.S. The potage was warm and nourishing; it will be our last hot meal on

this trip. From now on, we will be dipping into our leather bags of cheese

curds, dehydrated fruits, and so on. Our goat skin water will have to be sipped sparingly because of the route we are travelling.

I am exhausted so must quit. I feel like I could sleep well anywhere

tonight, even on a folded blanket under the stars.

21^st Chisleu

Abigail edged over to me this evening while her husband was

involved in a heated discussion about politics with some of the other

men. She clasped my hand, and confided that she was certain I was

carrying the Christ Child had been afraid to tell me earlier. I was

consoled, but I still had to fight the temptation not to be hurt since she

had not stood by me earlier, if she truly believed. I hope she will be my dear friend once again when we return to Nazareth.

As she turned to walk away, I saw her thickly fringed eyes were sad in her small, pale, face, and I couldn’t hold it against her for shunning me. Would I have done any better if rumors had spread about her while she was betrothed?

Yosef is heading my way now. I am sure my peace-loving husband

wearies of all the angry critics of the Romans. While the sun was setting, Yosef and I had an inspiring conversation about the coming of the Mashiach, and our great El’  Shaddai, hallowed be His Name.

Yosef is such a deep thinker, and he studies the Torah, (law of God,)  and the prophets so diligently. I am able to ask him many questions. His answers are so beneficial to me.

After  a while, we started singing a Psalm. It starts like this:

Oh El’ Elohim how excellent is your name in all the earth! Who has set

your glory above the heavens? A little later it mentions considering the

heavens, the work of His fingers, and the moon, and the stars which

He has made. Yosef told me that the stars are foretelling the Christ

Child’s birth, but that is too much for me to comprehend!.

It is a beautiful starry night, and our hearts are lifted up in praise to

the great El’ Shaddai, hallowed be His Name! Some of the other pilgrims joined us in singing. It was Banoah,( blessed) indeed.

People are friendlier now that we are on the road. Alleluia

El ohim Yisrael!

I had better roll up my little scroll, and carefully tuck it back into

its leather case for it is time to sleep.

Good night, my dear readers, as if there would ever be any!

The Christmas Story from Mary's Viewpoint (continued)

Today was cloudy and dark; a gloomy sort of day. Not even my

companions whom I regularly meet at the well were not in the mood

to linger and chat for long. I guess it is because there is a chill in the air.

The clouds are dark, and lowering. Quite likely by nightfall the early rains will have begun in earnest. It sure feels like a day for huddling in our mud brick homes as close as possible to the little fire in the brazier!

I wonder how my long-time friends will treat me once they can tell

that I am carrying a tinoki, little child. Will they give me the look that

so many reserve for aant’at, women, of ill repute? I shiver to think of it!

More of Mary's View of the first Christmas

29 Nissan

April 21

Dear Diary;

With tears in my eyes I must admit this has been a low time for me.

My feeling of dwelling in heavenly places has faded to a rather forlorn

memory, and I am not well! After scattering a few kernels of corn to

our flock of chickens, I crept behind the goat-shed to be sick. It didn't relieve the queasiness much.

The Christmas Story from Mary's Viewpoint

My thoughts have been soaring heavenward with a yearning to be

one with HaShem especially today because the sky shone like shining

molten gold. The whole atmosphere seemed to be hushed as if it is

standing on tiptoe in the Shekinah of Adonai, (the glorious presence of

the Lord of Lords.) Many furlongs away the Sea of Galilee is rippling under this same

glorious sunset. If it reminds me so much of Paradise here, what must

it look like over the waves?

I was lingering near our almond tree, which is shrouded with a

thousand pink and white flowers. Over my arm hung a basket filled with herbs since I had just finished gathering them from our dew-scented garden when a dazzling dove

swept by catching my attention. She was such a bright contrast to the beautiful horizon. As I gazed upon her, I wondered if perchance this would be the time I would see where her little fledglings were hidden. I have been intently watching her for some time now.

I was also enjoying the fresh, invigorating breeze against my cheeks. It was sweetly scented with the fragrance of a million early flowers.

Then a Voice seemed to float towards me. I do not know how

else to describe it. I looked around but saw no one. There was such a

quietness, and calmness in the twilight stillness that I was not afraid;

just mildly curious. While my eyes swept the glowing sky and dewy

green landscape a marvelous Being appeared. He seemed to materialize

out of thin air, but for some reason I was pleasantly intrigued rather

than terrified. Then in angelic tones, this glorious creature, who was arrayed in

raiment that dazzled like snow, spoke to me.

“Hail, you are highly favored, the Lord is with you: you are blessed among woman.”

I had been gazing rapturously upon him but these words made me

feel uneasy so lowered my eyes. How could someone such as I be highly

favored? Surely my thoughts have become too lofty, and El’ Shaddai was

about to rebuke me. He knows how deeply I have longed to mother his

Son. Perhaps that was rash and foolish for talitha as lowly as I.

“Fear not Mary’am:” he said gently, “for you have found favor

with God.”

My hand pressed against my throat. “Me?” I breathed.

He nodded, and not only his face but his whole being glowed with a

radiance that could only be described as celestial. Although I was in

the presence of one of the angels of El’ Shaddai, for some reason I felt

serene, and more composed than I have ever felt before. It was almost

like I had been lifted to a hallowed plane. The cares and burdens of life

had fallen away, as if I had shed them for a time, like waterfowl sheds

water. After a momentous pause, he continued.

“Listen! You are going to conceive, and give birth to a Son, and

shall call His name Yeshua. He shall be great, and shall be called the

Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto Him the throne

of His father David. He shall reign over the house of Yaakov, (Jacob),

forever: and of His kingdom there shall be no end.”

“Excuse me, sir,” I raised my eyes to shyly meet his gaze,

“But how can this be, since I am a virgin, and know not a man?”

“The Holy Ghost shall come upon you, and the power of the

Highest shall overshadow you: therefore also that holy thing that shall

be born of you shall be called the Son of  Adonai.

A tremble shook my body at these majestic words, and I think my

face must have gone ashen. It was more than I could comprehend.

Carry the Son of God! That was my heart’s desire! Something I had longed for more intensely even than to be married

to my Chavivi, (beloved.) My knees felt weak. Surely something so

holy and glorious could not be happening to such an insignificant

handmaiden of the Lord. I must be dreaming!

The serenely glowing face of the angel came back into focus once

again, and when he spoke it was in a gentle, soothing voice about things

that were at least a little more ordinary.

“I have more good news for you! Your relative, Elisheva, (Elisabeth,) is carrying a

son in her old age, and this is the sixth month with her, who was

called infertile.”

I gazed at him in awe, open-mouthed but speechless. Elisheva ? A tremble shook my body at these majestic words, and I think my face must have gone ashen. It was more than I could comprehend. Elisheva was my favorite aunt! How wonderful! How very, very wonderful! Won’t Imma be delighted when she finds out? She always felt so sorry for her eldest sister because she never knew the joys of motherhood!

He beamed. “With God nothing shall be impossible!”

I sank to my knees and with clasped hands, replied in a hushed voice.

“Behold the talitha of the Lord: be it unto me according to your word.”

  While I watched wonderingly, the angel’s feet rose from the ground,

his magnificent wings spread out, and I saw him gradually rise higher,

and higher, until he flew out of my sight.

After he was gone, an Invisible but very hallowed sense of Shekinah surrounded me. Never have I had such profound love, such happiness, and complete tranquility permeate my being as it did at that moment. It must have been a foretaste of the

joys of Paradise.

Although the sensation faded, I am certain that HaShem’ touched me in a very profound, and personal way. I cannot express what He has done for, and to me. When He left I quietly murmured

“Alleluia El ohim Yisrael!”

Shortly after this experience the evening sun set and the sky grew

dark quickly. The night air was laden with the perfume of roses, and

the sky was brilliant with stars. There were so many stars that it seemed

like there were surely symbolic messages of great portent written in the

sky that only the learned could read.

I slipped into the house for this little scroll, my reed pen, and a small clay lamp. I am now sitting on a large flat rock near the lovely

almond tree trying to write with the aid of the stars, and the lamp’s

flickering glow.

“Holy, holy, holy,” I breathed, loath to leave this sacred place, yet

knowing the hour was growing late.

I seemed to have been wrapped in an aura of other—worldliness for

the rest of the evening.

When I wandered back into the house, Imma, (mother), was busy chopping up vegetables for a stew. Soon the aroma of simmering onions permeated the air.

My sister Hana came in from milking the goats, and handed me the milk which I absentmindedly strained through cheese cloth into another container.

The hum of voices ebbed, and flowed around me, but I hardly noticed.

Abba,  (father,) came in, and after washing up said the Banoah,

(blessing). After he was finished eating the rest of us gathered around

the table.

“You are quiet tonight,” Imma observed. Her voice barely registered.

“Mary’am.” Abba’s hand was poised above the scroll he was reaching

for. I looked up when he spoke my name. “Your mother spoke to you.”

“I’m sorry, Imma dear. Did you want something?”

“I just remarked at how quiet you have been since coming in.”

My cheeks felt like they were growing warm so I looked down,

and dipped a sop into the common bowl.

 “I’m feeling . . . thoughtful, tonight.”

Abba and Imma exchanged a quizzical look, but I didn’t feel like I

couldn’t explain anything, not yet.

It is hard for me to grasp the magnitude of what actually happened just a few short hours ago, harder perhaps because everything else in

my small world continues in just the same down-to-earth way it always

had.

I hope people can comprehend that it is not that I am so special.

It is what HaShem is going to do through me. I am just a poor earthen

vessel.

To be continued...